The Crisis of Choice: Why More Options Are Making Us Less Happy

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

I have this recurring dilemma. It typically begins with me scrolling through one of my many streaming subscriptions, trying to find something to watch. It goes something like this: I am laying on my couch, remote in hand, scrolling through Netflix. Minutes tick by, and I’ve already dismissed dozens of shows and movies. Too predictable. Too long. Not in the mood for that. Thirty minutes pass, and I’m still scrolling. Maybe I should check HBO? Or Prime? But the cycle continues. I tell myself I’m waiting for the right choice, but the longer I scroll, the less certain I am that it even exists. Eventually, I give up, setting the remote down, exhausted by the weight of my choices. And I watch nothing at all.

This self-imposed dilemma pales in comparison to some of the crises that people experience because of choice. This isn’t about Netflix but about the way we live now—convinced that the next or perfect choice is always out there, just one more swipe, scroll, or decision away. But I do wonder whether this wealth of choices has worn away at our ability to live in the moment, live in gratitude, and be deeply self-aware.

This phenomenon is known as choice overload—the paradox that while having options should theoretically increase satisfaction, too many choices can lead to anxiety, indecision, and dissatisfaction. Studies have shown that when people are presented with too many options, they often experience decision paralysis and ultimately regret their choices, even if they were objectively good. The problem isn’t that we lack choices; it’s that we have too many, and in constantly searching for better, we rob ourselves of the ability to enjoy what we already have.

The Cost of Always Searching

Modern culture fuels an insatiable need to always be looking for something better. Advertisements, influencers, and social media feeds bombard us with an endless stream of aspirational lifestyles, creating an environment where we are conditioned to believe that what we have is never enough. Even when we attain something we once deeply desired—a promotion, a relationship, a material possession—the sense of accomplishment is fleeting. Almost immediately, we begin scanning for the next upgrade, the next thing that will finally make us feel whole.

Our ancestors lived with far fewer options, yet many of them reported higher levels of fulfillment. Studies on decision fatigue and happiness suggest that having too many choices often leads to anxiety rather than contentment. Cultures with fewer distractions and less exposure to manufactured ideals of happiness tend to have stronger community bonds and greater overall life satisfaction. The relentless pursuit of more often leaves us feeling less—less connected, less grounded, and less appreciative of what is already in front of us.

In my counseling work, I’ve seen people sabotage their own well-being by constantly searching for the next best thing. Some clients are never satisfied in their careers, convinced they should be making more, achieving more, or working somewhere more prestigious. Others struggle in relationships, always questioning whether a different partner would make them happier. The reality is, chronic searching prevents us from fully investing in what we have, making it impossible to experience the depth and richness that comes with true commitment.

One of the most harmful aspects of this constant searching is that it keeps us mentally elsewhere—always looking forward to what’s next rather than appreciating what’s now. The idea of “better” is a moving target, one that we can never quite reach because the moment we get close, something new emerges that makes us feel like we still haven’t arrived. But what if true satisfaction doesn’t come from finding better, but from learning to find value in what is already in front of us?

The Myth of Missing Out

FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out, is a major psychological driver of dissatisfaction in modern life. Our culture tells us that we should never settle, that we should always be exploring new opportunities, new connections, new experiences. But what if the pursuit of “more” is the very thing preventing us from feeling satisfied?

Many celebrities, despite having access to all the fame, money, and social connections one could dream of, have publicly spoken about their decision to leave social media or retreat from the spotlight for their mental well-being. Stars like Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have highlighted how the constant need for validation and exposure left them feeling unfulfilled and mentally exhausted. If people at the pinnacle of success feel this way, what does that say about the rest of us?

The idea that something better is just around the corner is often an illusion. Many of my clients struggle with the sense that they are “missing out” on a better life, a better career, a better partner. But when we dig deeper, it becomes clear that their dissatisfaction often stems from a lack of presence in their current lives, rather than an actual deficiency in what they have. Learning to quiet the mind and be fully engaged with where we are, rather than being mentally fixated on where we could be, is one of the most radical shifts a person can make.

Moreover, FOMO is often fueled by social comparison and digital overstimulation. Our feeds are carefully curated to present only the highlights of others' lives—vacations, promotions, engagements, personal achievements—without the struggles, insecurities, or sacrifices that accompany them. When we compare our full reality to someone else's filtered projection, dissatisfaction is inevitable. The solution is not to chase an illusion but to redirect our energy toward cultivating genuine contentment with our own lives, appreciating what we have rather than dwelling on what we think we lack.

FOMO is not just about missing experiences—it’s about the fear of choosing wrong. If we commit to one job, one partner, one way of life, we fear we might be closing the door on something better. But this is an impossible standard. Every choice comes with trade-offs. No matter what path we take, there will always be roads not traveled. The challenge is to embrace the choices we do make, rather than live in constant fear that another path would have been superior.

In therapy, I often encourage clients to shift their focus from what’s missing to what’s meaningful. Instead of asking, “What am I missing out on?” we should ask, “What am I overlooking in my own life?” Fulfillment is rarely found in chasing new experiences—it’s found in deeply engaging with the ones we already have.

The Power of Fully Committing

Because modern society is constantly encouraging us to keep our options open, commitment can feel like a trap. But paradoxically, it is often the very thing that leads to deeper satisfaction. Fully investing in something—whether it’s a relationship, a career, or a personal goal—allows us to extract deeper meaning from our choices. When we make the decision to stay, rather than constantly search for something better, we open ourselves to true growth and fulfillment.

Commitment isn’t about settling; it’s about deepening. I’ve seen clients who, after years of feeling stuck in indecision, finally committed—to a partner, a job, or a life path. The transformation wasn’t in the external choice but in the internal shift—the decision to invest fully, to find meaning in what they had rather than in what they might find elsewhere. Commitment doesn’t limit us; it expands our capacity to grow within what we’ve chosen.

This concept applies to all aspects of life. Relationships require work, but when both partners are committed, they build something greater than either of them could on their own. Careers become more fulfilling when we engage fully rather than constantly seeking the next opportunity. Even hobbies and personal projects flourish when we resist the temptation to quit when things get tough. The ability to commit allows us to experience the depth of life rather than skimming the surface of endless possibilities.

However, committing requires trust—in ourselves, in our ability to navigate challenges, and in the belief that fulfillment is not something we find but something we create. Many people resist commitment because they fear making the wrong choice. But no choice is perfect. What makes something worthwhile isn’t that it was predestined to be the best—it’s that we choose to make it meaningful through our investment, effort, and care.

Rather than fearing commitment, we should reframe it as a gift—an opportunity to stop searching and start building. Because the truth is, satisfaction is rarely about having more choices. It’s about choosing to be all in on what’s in front of us.

The Role of Gratitude and Discipline

In a culture that constantly bombards us with images of wealth, beauty, and seemingly perfect lives, gratitude becomes harder to cultivate. Social media, television, and marketing campaigns feed us an endless stream of people living their idealized lives—whether real or fabricated. These comparisons make us feel as though we are missing something, that our lives are somehow insufficient. Our homes are too small. Our vacations are too mundane. Our relationships aren’t picture-perfect enough. The standard for success and happiness has been so exaggerated that even the most content among us begin to question whether we should want more.

Gratitude is one of the simplest, yet most powerful, antidotes to the crisis of options. It forces us to see what is here, rather than what might be. It is not about settling for less but about recognizing the value of what we already have. Research has shown that practicing gratitude improves psychological well-being, fosters resilience, and increases overall life satisfaction. Those who express gratitude regularly are more likely to experience happiness and contentment, whereas those who focus on what they lack are more prone to anxiety and depression.

However, gratitude alone isn’t always easy. It requires discipline—the ability to focus on appreciation even when external pressures push us toward dissatisfaction. It means consciously redirecting our thoughts when we fall into comparison traps. It means pausing to acknowledge the moments of peace, joy, and stability that already exist in our lives rather than endlessly chasing new ones.

One practice I often recommend to clients struggling with dissatisfaction is active gratitude journaling—writing down not just what they are grateful for, but why they are grateful for it. This helps reinforce positive emotions and makes it easier to shift focus away from perceived shortcomings. Gratitude is most effective when paired with intentional awareness—noticing the small moments that bring joy, like a warm cup of coffee on a cold morning, a conversation with a friend, or the feeling of sunlight on your face. These seemingly small things, when acknowledged, build a life of contentment.

Discipline plays an equally vital role. Gratitude is not just an emotion—it’s a practice. It requires daily effort to train our minds to focus on abundance rather than scarcity. Without discipline, we are easily swayed by the next shiny thing, the next marketed promise that more will make us happier. But when we discipline ourselves to appreciate what we have, we cultivate a deeper, more lasting sense of fulfillment—one that doesn’t rely on external circumstances, but on our ability to recognize the worth of the present moment.

A Gratitude Reflection

Gratitude is a practice, a way of bringing ourselves back to the present moment when the noise of the world pulls us toward dissatisfaction. Too often, we focus on what is missing, what could be, or what we think we should have. But gratitude is an intentional act of recognizing what is, and it can ground us in a way that no amount of searching ever will.

Sometimes, I step into my backyard at night, barefoot, feeling the coolness of the grass beneath my feet. It reminds me of the innocence of childhood—when moments like these were enough. Other times, I stand beneath the vast night sky, gazing at the stars, remembering that for thousands of years, people have done this exact same thing. From ancient civilizations to my own ancestors, countless humans have looked up at these very heavens, feeling the same sense of wonder that I do now. The stars have borne witness to humanity’s longing, to our questions about purpose, to our shared understanding that we are both small and significant. It reminds me that while our time here is fleeting, we each have the power to make it meaningful.

Take a deep breath. Feel the air enter your lungs, filling you with life. As you exhale, release the weight of expectation and the need for perfection.

Say to yourself:

I am exactly where I need to be. My journey is unfolding in its own time. I celebrate my progress, even if it is imperfect. I release comparison and embrace gratitude. What I have is enough. Who I am is enough. I choose to be present, to appreciate this moment, and to trust that I am growing in ways I cannot yet see.

I welcome joy into my life. I recognize the beauty in simplicity. I allow gratitude to shape my perspective, and in doing so, I find peace in where I am. My path is mine alone, and I honor the experiences that have brought me here. I am not behind. I am not lacking. I am enough.

Let this affirmation be a reminder that happiness is not found in relentless pursuit but in presence. No matter how much the world tells us that more is the answer, peace is found in choosing to appreciate what already exists.

Thank You, Reader

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Your time and attention are valuable, and I am grateful that you chose to spend them here.

This society constantly tells us that more is better—that we should always be chasing, always looking for the next best thing. But maybe real fulfillment isn’t found in the search. Maybe it’s found in the choice to be fully present in our own lives. Maybe it’s found in committing to what we already have, in trusting that the life we are building, imperfect as it may be, is already enough.

I invite you to take a moment to reflect: Where in your life are you waiting for the perfect choice instead of embracing what you already have? Where are you hesitating, delaying joy because you think something better might be out there? And what would happen if, just for today, you let go of that doubt and chose gratitude instead?

If this message spoke to you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need it. A single shared thought can shift a perspective, and perhaps we might challenge the mindset that tells us more is always the answer.

If you haven’t yet, I’d love for you to like this piece and subscribe to receive more reflections like this. And if you feel inclined, leave a comment—what’s one thing you’re grateful for today?

Until next time, may you find clarity in your choices, gratitude in your present, and peace in the life you are building.