The Thing That Makes You a More Relatable Person? Do More of It.
It never ceases to amaze me the impact that sunshine has on my mood and outlook on life. A streak of sunlight cutting through gray clouds, the warmth on my skin, the way everything seems to glow just a little more golden—these moments feel like subtle miracles. Living in the Pacific Northwest, where sunshine is at a premium for most of the year, especially outside of summer, I've come to understand just how deeply light can shift not just the day, but the internal climate of a person.
There's evidence to back this up. Research shows that exposure to sunlight increases the brain's release of serotonin, a hormone associated with mood lifting and calmness. Sunlight doesn't just brighten the skies—it brightens us. And yet, it is perhaps because of the long stretches of gloom that I, and so many others, feel that brightness more acutely when it finally breaks through.
This, to me, is the beauty of duality. Light feels warmer after the cold. Joy feels richer after sorrow. Connection feels deeper after isolation. Duality isn’t something to avoid; it’s something to honor. It gives us contrast, clarity, and reverence for what we might otherwise take for granted.
I've been reflecting lately on what it is that makes us relatable to others. For me, strangely enough, it's my smile. People often remark on it. They say it’s bright, warm, disarming. What they don’t always know is how infrequent it can be.
I don’t walk around grinning. I’m a deep, often intense thinker. My mind rarely stops moving, and my face tends to wear that inner weight. I’ve been told I look unapproachable, stern, even intimidating at times. Add to that my physicality—I lift heavy things and my body reflects that. My hair is locked and long, symbolic of roots, history, presence. In a society that too often misreads what it doesn’t immediately recognize, I understand how my presence might read as closed off or serious.
So when I smile, it surprises people. And maybe that surprise is the door. Maybe that’s what makes me relatable. The smile softens the silhouette. It offers something human, something light, something shared. It says, "Yes, I carry things. But I can still offer you warmth."
And so I’m working to smile more. Not to perform. Not to mask. But because it’s something I can give freely that changes the atmosphere—for others, and for me. In smiling, I offer a bit of light, and in return, I receive a bit of ease. That’s the gift.
Whatever that thing is for you—that gesture, habit, expression that connects you to others in a genuine way—do more of it. Especially if it feels a little uncomfortable. Especially if it takes effort. That thing might just be your smile, or the way you ask thoughtful questions, or your laugh, or your openness about your imperfections. Whatever it is, give it more freely.
Because it is our relatability that builds bridges. It is our willingness to be seen—as tender, as thoughtful, as human—that draws others near. The world doesn’t need more perfection. It needs presence. It needs light. It needs whatever piece of you makes people say, "Me too."
So do more of that. And me, I'll just be over here smiling as you do!
