Your Nervous System Isn’t Lazy—It’s Overworked
Understanding survival mode + small shifts to reset.
If you’re overwhelmed, burned out, or barely making it through the workweek—you’re not alone. In fact, you’re in good company. As a therapist and healer, I spend a lot of my time holding space for people’s most vulnerable truths. And nearly every conversation returns to one central theme: work. Not passion. Not purpose. Not even ambition. Just work. The unrelenting pressure of it. The impossibility and seeming inevitability of it. The way it shapes us, breaks us, and leaves so little room for us to breathe, think …be!
I spend a lot of my time thinking about how we got here. How the promise of meaningful contribution became entangled with self-worth. How jobs that once paid the bills became proxies for identity, status, and even morality. The people that seek out my help carry the weight of this every day—and so do I. Whether it’s the helper navigating unsustainable caseloads, the young professional crushed under imposter syndrome, or the single parent terrified of missing another shift, the story repeats itself. Work has become the dominant organizing principle of our lives.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to believe: work is not meant to be the center of your existence. You are not here solely to produce, to serve, or to survive. You are here to live, dream, create, explore, and most of all, to BE!
In the Therapy Room: What I Hear Every Week
Nearly every client I see, regardless of age, background, or profession, comes in carrying some form of work-related grief. It might not always be named that way, but it’s there. The chronic anxiety that starts Sunday night. The inability to relax, even on vacation. The gnawing sense of failure. The guilt for not doing enough, not being enough. The way it seeps into every other aspect of their lives.
One client, a Black woman in her mid-30s, spoke of her fear of losing her job because of burnout. “I’m the first in my family to make it out,” she told me, her voice cracking. “I can’t afford to fall apart.” Another client, a young man in tech, said he felt like a ghost in his own body. “All I do is work. I’m never in the room with myself. To be honest, I have no clue who I am outside of my job, and the truth is that I am scared to find out.” And then there are those who feel numb, trapped in jobs that drain their spirit but provide the only stability they know.
Work becomes more than a job. It becomes a coping mechanism. A distraction. A measure of our worth. And because the world rewards us for staying busy, we often don’t recognize that we’re drowning until it’s too late.
A System That Benefits From Our Burnout
The American work ethic is not just a personal mindset—it’s a cultural indoctrination. From childhood, we are taught that hard work is virtue, that rest is laziness, and that struggle is honorable. But this ethos was never neutral. It is deeply racialized, gendered, and rooted in systems of exploitation.
People of color, women, immigrants, queer folks, those from economically disenfranchised backgrounds—we are often asked to work twice as hard for half the recognition, navigating environments not built for our thriving. The myth of meritocracy fuels shame: if you’re tired, you must be weak. If you’re poor, you must be lazy. If you’re struggling, it’s your fault.
This lie keeps us in place. It keeps us silent. It keeps us compliant. It keeps us working.
But what if we told the truth?
What if we admitted that we are not meant to live like this? What if we laid down the burden of perpetual productivity and picked up the slow, sometimes scary, work of healing?
The Reclamation Begins: A Holistic Wellness Check-In
Before we can change the way we live, we have to understand where we are. Here is a simple yet powerful way to check in with yourself across five dimensions:
1. Mental:
What stories do I tell myself about work and rest?
Do I believe I am only valuable when I am producing?
2. Emotional:
What emotions have I been suppressing in order to keep going?
Where am I feeling unacknowledged or unseen?
3. Spiritual:
Do I feel connected to something larger than my job title?
What brings me a sense of meaning, even if it's not "productive"?
4. Physical:
What is my body trying to tell me about my limits?
Am I sleeping, eating, and moving in ways that support my well-being?
5. Relational:
Are my relationships nourished or depleted by my current pace?
Who do I trust enough to tell the truth about how I’m really doing?
Take a moment with each question. Journal. Reflect. Breathe.
Practical Steps Toward Liberation
Set a Stop Time: Choose one day this week to stop working at a set hour. Protect it.
Schedule Nothing: Block off time where you don’t need to do or be anything.
Name Your Needs: Tell someone you trust what support looks like for you.
Reclaim Joy: Do one thing this week that is purely for your delight.
Say No: Practice saying no without justification. Your worth is not tied to your yes.
You are not your job. You are not your productivity. You are a whole, sacred being who deserves rest, joy, and peace.
Let this be the beginning.
#BeKind2Yourself
Thank you for reading.
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